Archive Journal Entry: 20030322

The last two nights have been very interesting and somewhat intense. On Thursday night, when I arrived home, Melanie was very upset and depressed. We ended up talking for quite a while about happiness. On Friday night, after returning home from the Feast of Baha, we started to do some work on our finances. We discovered that in the 12 months of 2002, we only reduced our current unsecured debt by $5000 or so. This is a far cry from our goal of almost eliminiating it. Not only that, but our current debt has increased since then. We talked for a long time about how I approach our finances very optimistically and how that is very difficult for her. One thing that I understood clearly was that we have very different thresholds of fear regarding our finances. She considers almost any unsecured debt as fearful. I have only been afraid since June of 2001 when I lost a contract. Since then we have been struggling very very hard to get our finances under control. Moving twice has not helped 🙂 In fact, moving this last time, from California to Ontario, cost us personally about CA$25,000!!!! (A big part of that is because we could not get out of our lease in Daly City, but it doesn’t include the cost of movers since those were paid for by the company I have a contract with.)

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